CrossFit, Obesity and Rhabdo

I had a blog post come across my feed about the dangers of CrossFit.  The first thing that came to mind was...haters gonna hate.  Then it was, this isn't the first time nor will it be the last time.  Then...I had something to say.

The article had two claims against CrossFit, the dangers of Rhabdomyolysis and the lack of form due to the high intensity of the WODs.  That ticks me off.

High Intensity and Form.  Most awesome CrossFit gyms utilize a detailed fundamentals class that goes through ALL of the movements, form, pillars of fitness AND stressing the need for personal responsibility.  Personal Responsibility.  Let me say that again, PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.  If your gym doesn't utilize this...RUN AWAY.  I am asked to think, be a part of the process and communicate.  Then there is an on ramp time frame with shorter workouts and lower weights to accommodate those who are building up to greater levels of awesomeness.  Our gym has a 5-6 hour program that is REQUIRED for membership before the first WOD.  The beauty of CrossFit is that everyone, despite ability level, can get an awesome workout doing different levels of the SAME workout.  Good form is a process.  No one is perfect the first time.   When an out of shape person or new to CrossFit person joins; there is going to be a time frame of learning how to do the movements while minimizing the risk of injury but capitalizing on the greater activity to gain a greater level of fitness.  CrossFit is not a government funded health program where everything is provided to the athletes (read this post on personal responsibility) if it were, it would be easy, we would be given  a trophy JUST for showing up AND would be worse off than when we started.  Plus a GMO laden corn syrup covered cupcake.  I want excellent health and I need to work for it.  Nothing worth having comes easy.

Rhabdo is nasty business.  However, obesity is a greater risk.  I am not a Doctor but could <loosely> qualify as a mathematician so I am going to stick with numbers.  There are many causes of rhabdomylosis.  Crush injuries, drug abuse, alcoholism, kidney disease, flu etc etc etc.  I searched and searched for a percentage of US deaths by Rhabdomylosis and as it turns out...1 in 5 deaths in the US are from obesity related illnesses but no numbers for Rhabdo.  Specifically no numbers for exertional related rhabdo.  I read the National Vital Statistics which doesn't specifically list Rhabdo...my guess is that it falls under "Kidney Disease" but again...not a doctor and honestly I lost interest as I was scrolling by; heart disease, stroke, diabetes which are all linked to obesity.  However, please note that the big blue chunks on the right.  Obesity has been linked to cancer as well as heart disease which comprises half of the deaths in the US.  Type 2 diabetes deaths are also linked to obesity which is the icing on the cake of death.  (chart stolen without shame from: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr62/nvsr62_06.pdf)

So...what is my greater risk?  Purely based on numbers (BMI and body fat) I am still (as of today 11/4/2014) considered to be obese.   I would attest that CrossFit and healthy eating are a cure for obesity and as long as I communicate with the coaches and listen to my body I feel my greatest risk statistically is obesity related illnesses.  So...those who want to waste their time trashing CrossFit, marathon runners and other people who are working hard to be healthy need to do their research and stop taking pot shots for grins and giggles.  Stick with the real risks that align with math and science.

Double Grace for time anyone?

****Please excuse my lack of APA/MLA citing...this isn't a paper and I forgot about that stuff the minute I got my grad degree.

Slaying the beast...CrossFit Style

In CrossFit...we have a rope that hands from the ceiling for climbing.  It is the same as the ropes that hung in elementary school gyms of my age and even though I could climb it (without feet) back then it has been a struggle for me to get up that rope now.

For many months it has mocked me.  The voices of my elementary (okay..middle and high school too) peers have (mostly) long been silenced by academic and career milestones achieved.  It has been replaced by my own inner voice which at times betrays me.  Up until this morning...it came from the rope in the back of the Box.  It mocked me with all of those things I used to tell myself...all beginning with can't...won't...never will be.  When I would pass the rope to use the restroom (like as the coach started to say we were going to start the WOD...oops...Gotta PEE!!!)  I would look at the rope and say...one day...you will be MINE.  Today...those sounds were silenced.  I climbed the freakin' rope.  Take that sucka and keep those thoughts to yourself.  Now, it is the rings...muscle ups next?

Eggs...slight rant.

I think companies that use marketing schemes that fatten their pockets by taking advantage of shoppers are bottom feeders.  I stumbled on one today.

Chickens are omnivores.  Mature egg laying chickens need about 16% of their diet to be protein.  Given their choice...this would be bugs and meat (think of animals they can kill and eat; mice, snakes, skinks etc) if they can get it.  So...if your eggs come from vegetarian fed chickens where do you think that protein comes from?  Soy.  What agriculture product in the US has the most plantings of highly genetically engineered product with herbicides (roundup) and insecticides??  Soy.

Where can chickens get their protein?  Soy, meat products and alfalfa meal.  I am sure there are others...but those are what I researched.  Most commercially prepared chicken feed uses soy for the protein.  Most organic feed...uses soy for the protein.  So, chickens who live in little boxes and do nothing but eat and lay all day...they eat a commercial type feed.  So, what does this mean?  Aha!  Those chickens are vegetarian fed too. 

Chickens little bodies (like ours) are designed to filter out toxins.  Since eggs are not a waste product...they will have had the benefit of the chickens cleverly designed filtration system. 

So, if you want to spend more money on eggs or are concerned with how chickens are treated..please choose cage free or free range.  Don't waste your money on vegetarian eggs...the biggest contributing factor to the nutritional value of the egg comes from the health of the chicken.  Chickens living in a box aren't going to be as healthy as a cage free chicken.

Disclaimer thoughts...There has been a hubalub about chickens in mass farms being fed the culled older chickens to give them the protein they need.  I believe...that most of the byproduct goes towards dog food and such these days but couldn't find any sources to the contrary.  However, chicken tidbit, chickens will kill and eat each other in the free range environment.  I have also seen them eat a mouse and a snake.  Then a day later fight over a skink.  No joke.    

When you see 'no animal byproducts' on the package...recycling chickens who aren't producing is what they are referring to.   Also, the vegetarian eggs pictured above...do not say that they are cage free or free range.  So, those chickens who are being fed a vegetarian diet were living in little shoe boxes laying and eating all day. 

1.5 pood baby carry ...

53# kettle bells are also referred to (by the informed Russian set...you know who you are) as 1.5 pood.  Every time I hear that I think of the past tense of poo...that would be a lot of poo.

This week in CrossFit we had a WOD that involved carrying a 53# kettle bell down the parking lot while your partner slogged away doing pushups and then switch until 200 pushups were achieved by the team of 2, 300 pushups for a team of three or for the super awesome 300 pushups for a team of two.

As I was carrying the 53# kettle bell down the parking lot I thought of this picture below of me carrying an extra 50# of body weight.  The equivalent of what I was at that second carrying a 53# kettle bell. 

 

When these pictures were first taken..I was so annoyed at my husband for taking them with me in the picture.  In my mind the pics were all ruined.  Because I was in them.  Ouch. 

While continuing to chip away at the WOD...remembering back to the day when I saw those pics contrasted to now...I came to a few conclusions.

1.  This picture is of a woman who fought to keep her youngest alive at the expense of her own health.  I sat up all night watching her breathe giving her treatments into the wee hours of the morning and then got up and went to work.  I ate horrible fast energy foods and had zero time for myself.  However, the Littlest Who lived and that is all that matters.  End of story.  I didn't ruin the pic...God working through me is the reason this picture took place.

2.  One short month after this, at that weight, I walked from the Radisson Hotel in Seattle to the SeaTac airport, not a great distance, with the little red head (30#) on my back, a computer backpack backwards on my chest (15#) pulling a big suitcase (not doing the coefficient of friction math) and directing Andrew and Katherine to stay on the side walk.  That lady is strong and determined.  A wise friend told me that we should strive to be like a force of nature...guided by God and unstoppable.

3.  Clearly I should have been carrying the 2 pood bell.  Say that without giggling.  I can't.

4.  Thinking like this during a WOD probably contributes to why I can't count reps.

What does this all mean?  I have no idea.  One thing, military wives do stuff like this all the time and are awesome.  I am also thinking with those numbers in #2 that I need to be squatting and dead lifting more and perhaps I shouldn't try to think of profound things while starving myself of oxygen during exercise. 

You raise chickens? In your yard? HOW?

Since I talk so frequently about my chickens I get questions and odd stares (I assume those are the judge-y types) but most are like, "hey...do you sell your stuff?  I want in!"

Our yard is mostly cleared and the house sits closer to the street than to the back property line and the yard is completely surrounded by a wooded area.  I can only see one neighbor's house from the backyard and she is an older lady that throws scraps in her backyard as she likes to watch my chickens roam through her yard.  My ladies are happy to oblige.

We have both meat birds and egg birds.  Meat birds are bigger meatier birds that get big really really quick.  Our lesson learned is that meat birds reach sexual maturity and begin crowing before they reach maximum dress weight.  Lesson learned...only hens next time.

Our goal is raise our own chicken meat and then have enough eggs to sell to pay for the rest of the operation.  This started as a project business for the kids in budgeting and responsibility.  They all have an active part in some function of the process and eventually will reap part of the earnings to add to their allowance. 

This is a panoramic from our back door - the green dome in the right middle is my greenhouse.  More on that later.

When we get new chicks (meat or egg laying) they start off in the garage or the shed in a chick playpen.

Nifty Playpen

At this age it is important to keep them free from drafts and predators.  They are supposed to be kept at 90 degrees for the first week.  I don't do that.  Actually...I am not careful at all.  I didn't wash my children's binkies when they fell to the floor either...unless it landed in something worse than their mouths.  Which is pretty hard to find.  I watch the chicks to see if they are all clumped up trying to get warm...if so I turn the light on.  If they are gathering under the light I lower it until a few are escaping the heat of the light.  Which is at about 82 degrees for about a week then we only had the light on at night.  

Baby chicks are about as helpless as a toddler.  They can feed themselves, walk around, play and hurt themselves pretty easily.  Tidbit: baby chicks can also drown in their drinking water. 

Looking back up at the picture of our back yard..after they leave the playpen they go to the romper room which is the green 'tractor' that can be moved around for them to have fresh grass for scratching and to keep disease out of the picture by them not walking around in their own poo.  A 'tractor' is any portable chicken enclosure that can be moved to provide fresh grass to chickens.  The 'romper room' also has a heat light built in to the lower back part so they can have heat at night.

Romper Room

Inside "Romper Room"

After the romper room...meat birds go to the flat which is the second from the right.  It is a flat box that is 12*12 with food and water.  Half of it is covered on top and about a quarter has blocked sides to provide them a place to sleep where predators can't look in.  I followed the Joel Salatin model.  Interesting tidbit...meat birds aren't supposed to roost as they are too big and it leaves bruises.  The flat gets moved around the yard and they scratch, eat the weeds and poo.  Which fertilizes the ground that I plant grass seed on right behind them as I move the 'tractor'.  Pretty simple operation.  Meat birds eat a lot as they go to 10-14lbs (undressed) in 80 days.  I raise Red Rangers as they are "more" of a heritage breed than the Cornish Cross and they take longer but it is a much more humane process.  In my opinion.

"The Flat"

After the romper room for egg layers they go to the condo which is second from the left.  They have a roost and two levels for sleeping and hanging out during the day.  It is covered as well.  The ladies in the picture below are about 6 weeks old and will move in a few weeks to either 'Momma's Coop' or 'Pax Pullum'.

"The Condo"

Right now the condo is full of egg layers.  They will be moving to Momma's coop (to the right of the shed) and "Pax Pullum" all the way on the right.  Momma's coop is the one I built for our Hen who hatched out eggs from the Amish man in the Spring.  You can hardly see it from the house.  Good design, eh? 

"Momma's Coop"

The Big House. "Pax Pullum" which took us almost 8 months to finish in between gutting the kitchen and living room of our house.  The run is about 135sqft which they spend the morning hours in before they are let out in to the yard to free range.  If you lay an egg... and I like you...you have the privilege of living here.

Last but not least.  The "Penalty Box" or the "Broody Buster" as the "Chicken Chick" calls it.  It has one occupant in it right now.  I let her out every day (she has food and water in there) and she goes right.back.to.the.egg.box.  So far she is on day two...I am hoping she will give up soon.  The cool air is supposed to return her body temperature to a normal level and then she will stop being broody.  Supposedly.  I think she is just looking for a baby daddy.  Clearly, she doesn't read my blog.  If she did she would know all of the roosters are in the freezer.

This was our first hen house and since then we have used it for an injured hen that we nursed back to health and trying to unbroody hens. 

That is it.  We pray one day that we will be blessed with the stability of living in the same place long enough to purchase 20+ acres for a real farm! 

how to quiet a rooster...or not

As most of you know I have chickens.  At present...a few too many.  If you have objections to eating or processing humanely pastured raised birds, please move on.

In May, my girls, convinced me to get some fertilized eggs for our broody hen (a hen who wants to sit on eggs and have babies...if only she knew) to hatch out.  Those hatched out early summer.  We also purchased more birds to raise for meat later that month.  Then, we ordered more egg laying babies (all hens) to replace some of our more obnoxious hens from our egg laying flock later.  I have.too.many.chickens.

The meat chickens were purchased straight run. Which means, they send you chicks as they are laid without sexing as they are laid.  Yes...there are people who work for hatcheries called sexers.  I would like that name tag.  [My NAME] SEXER.  That is awesome.  So, straight run means bottom line, they will be less than 1/2 roosters.  At first, we looked at it and saw that was cheaper then all female or all male and since we plan to eat them...what do we care?  Oh... WAIT.  We care cause roosters are loud and obnoxious.  Like a two year old who has learned to whistle and will not stop doing it horribly. If you have to process them too early then you end up with a smaller bird (still sizeable) and less meat then you could get with a fully mature bird.  Mental note for next time....all hens.

So fast forward to yesterday. We returned from a weekend away to find out that we had a crowing rooster.  We live in a subdivision with largish yards without a chicken ordinance and we have neighbors with chickens (a few with roosters) but I don't want to be the one that causes a problem because I do have too many chickens.  So...cockadoodle doo....over and over.  We packed the boys all up to take them to the Amish man for processing only to find out that he can't handle them for several days so we decide to handle Mr. Crows A'lot.  Details spared...he was handled and he went in the refrigerator.  Then...this morning... I walk out to this:

Three roosters crowing...some of them from the hatched chick cage.  How do I keep them quiet enough for them to reach full size?  I don't want to take time from my work day to "handle" more...the Amish man isn't available until the end of the week... so...what's a girl to do. 

I spent about 10 minutes playing various videos from YouTube with crowing roosters trying to get the crower to identify himself so I could 'handle' him.  To no avail.  Once I walked out there with the tags to mark the crowers...they stopped.  I think they were on to me since one disappeared yesterday.  

So, I opted to separate them in a more excluded part of the yard so they wouldn't disturb the neighbors or be otherwise stimulated by the hens and then prompted to crow and demonstrate their manliness.  Once I separated them I put a tarp over their enclosure so they couldn't see what was going on with the girls.   If it gets hot...I can put a box fan at the opening.  This seemed to help ... A LOT.  No more mid day crowing.  I moved them to a part of the yard that was far from the ladies so they didn't hear the chattering and such from them.  Then my neighbor said that she heard an old wives tale that if you put a laundry basket over them...they can't stand up to crow.  Light BULB!!  So, I put a layer of poultry netting in their enclosure to keep them from being able to stand up tall.  It is kind of high...but I don't want to restrict them TOO much and I can always lower it.

My goal is to let them hang out for another few weeks so we get a maximum return on our investment while they live humanely.  Everyone is invited to my backyard tomorrow at 6am to see if it works!

The "High Five" in crossfit...

Before joining CrossFit...I hadn't participated in a high five since I was wearing multi-color tube socks in middle school.  Or perhaps when my older brother tortured me with the "Up High"..."Down LOW" OOOooops...TOO SLOW.  The others (tube sock ones) were probably related to doing something really silly and the high five was an acknowledgement of our awkwardness and acceptance or a distraction from the awkwardness.  Now, all things have changed.

CrossFit takes the High-Five to a whole new plane.

The flat on your back High Five:  My first CrossFit WOD I remember laying on my back with my eyes closed gasping for breath and mentally reconfiguring my schedule for the week to get in as many WODs as possible (first signs of addiction folks) and thinking how awesome I felt when I "heard" the coach looming over my head.  I opened my eyes to see tinges of concern on his face as he held his hand up over my head (for a high five) and asked me what I thought of my first WOD.  I muttered something profane and smacked his hand.  He had a huge grin as he stalked off knowing he had just converted another treadmill/ellipticalizer to CrossFit. 

The I love you and you are amazing but I can't talk High Five: while crossing friends (who are ahead of me on a run...which is everyone) we all high five each other as we cross.  This is to say, I love you, you are awesome, great job but I can't waste oxygen right now to say those words.

The holy crap...I can't believe you just did that High Five: When your WOD mate does something awesome that they have been working on forever and you can't yet muster the words...this high five is appropriate while you come up with something amazing to say.

The "You Know it High Five":  This is a very special High Five.  It is the recipient mode of the High Five above.  Possibly the best of all.  This is when YOU do something that is awesome and have worked hard for.  Something you have accomplished and are returning the High Five of the person who is saying "holy crap...I can't believe you just did that".  This is the true meaning of community...in CrossFit we push and fight for each other and when our friends meet their goals we are in awe FOR and OF them.  Regardless of the accomplishment. 

Finally (not necessarily CrossFit related), for us Moms of boys, The "I really want to hug you right now but don't want to embarrass you in front of your friends so I will do this" High Five:  When your son does something amazing, and his friends are around, this High Five is an acceptable way of communicating your respect and awe of his accomplishment without the "mom...no hugs in public" dreaded convo.  I usually ignore this and go for the hug anyway but recognize this will soon be my fate.

In conclusion...remember...we can all be sharpened by our experiences with one another.  Don't hold back.  Encourage.  Support. Cheer on.  We are directed to do so.

Proverbs 27:17  
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

the life of a family dog...

As I have been looking through photos and trying to avoid jumping in to a container of animal crackers and simultaneously grateful that I don't have animal crackers in the house I decided to put together a few photos that made me smile....to honor Chance.  In hopes it will remind us how wonderful her life was and how she enriched ours.  I noticed that my photos are sparse during Andrew and Katherine's early years...I imagine that this is a product of having two children 13 months apart while moving overseas and then that there was a surge of photos with the creation of the iPhone.  It was nice to review the pictures and these are some of the highlights that I want to remember over the past 14 years.

So...here we go.

Fourteen years ago Glenn and I finished college and were embarking on a new adventure.  He had just started flight school and I was pregnant with our first child.  As a graduation gift, my father bought a dog for us.  She went everywhere with us that her couch potato self would allow.

Here's to Chance..

She warmly and with love welcome three children, 5 cats and another dog into this house.

While we lived in California...she became a California dog.  She would go outside and lay on her back in the grass for so long I thought I should put sunscreen on her tummy.  This is how I will always remember her.

She tolerated bath time and would pout but the second it was over she would be the happiest dog ever.  

Chance would chase cats outdoors but her indoor cat pals were for snuggling.  Somehow they had it all worked out and we never had to get involved.

She would cry and wag her tail when Glenn would come home from cruise.  It was like her tail was going to wag right off of her body...he was her favorite person.  I can't blame her...he is an amazing man.

Even blind...she had the "can I have some of your popcorn face" nailed...Jax on the left isn't so bad either.  He was looking at the popcorn...she was looking at the eyes.  In.to.your.soul.  Try to say no.

She never left our side while we worked (me from home) or relaxed....

She made one little girl a very happy little girl...

She moved 11 times, 2 drives cross country, 1 drive north to south of the West coast and 2 cross Pacific flights to include being in a kennel for 6 weeks in Japan.  Always with a smile and wagging tail....she was happy to be with her people and we were happy to be with her.

Good bye sweet girl...we will miss you so much.  May the squirrels be plentiful, the food bowl always full and a warm sunny patch of grass to roll in.

stuff my (not-yet-CrossFitting) husband says to me....about CrossFit.

My husband does Tae Kwon Do and I do CrossFit.  Our kids do CrossFit with me and Tae Kwon Do with him.  This works for us and we support each others endeavors.  Since we met back in high school we agreed that supporting each other is not defined by doing every.single.thing.together yet cheering each other on as we pursue our individual quests.

So, my point.  My wonderful husband doesn't CrossFit (CrossFit can be used as verb, noun and proper noun...how is THAT for functional?) but he has some funny perspectives.

Here a few of the latest...

1.  Are those whip marks on your legs?  What the heck were you doing?

2.  Bruises on your thighs and shoulders...Cleans today?

3.  When I talk about snatching he ALWAYS has a inappropriate comment.

4.  After a long burpee workout in shorts I *always* get road rash on my knees.  This doesn't receive a comment but merely an eyebrow raise.  Only one eyebrow.  Maybe a snigger.

5.  Each evening I begin the obsessive compulsive check on the Bunker's Facebook page to see what tomorrow's WOD will be.  On those evenings when it is a super cool WOD (like squat cleans) I react like this:

This gets a similar reaction to the road rash on my knees.  
6.  He helped me acquire the necessary equipment for and clear the space for a backyard lifting area and without fail when I suggest that I need a rack (and a pullup bar too while I am asking) he will make some sort of comment about MY rack and how I don't need another one.  :::sigh::: boys.

7.  While I was doing the open he cared for and *even* fed the kids while I was gone each Saturday morning and then saved me some bacon for when I returned.  This has nothing to do with stuff he says....but no CrossFit post would be complete without mention of bacon.

8.  When I talk about jerking...well...he has an inappropriate and entertaining comment.  As an aside...I am greatly entertained by euphemisms for human behavior.

9.  When I showed him the picture below and showed him the points of performance I have improved on in the past few months he exclaimed, "OH MY GOSH!!!!  YOU HAVE HAD THE SAME SHOES FOR 3 MONTHS!!!!"

Well.  I will have to do something about that.

10.  Even though I can easily heft the 50# bags of chicken feed, the 40# bags of soil/mulch....he always offers to do it for me.  Chivalry...it isn't dead.

bonus...

As I have been doing a pretty strict Paleo diet this is his take on it: "You aren't going to eat; cheese, grain, sugar (and all artificial sweeteners)  and legumes (hear me...peanut butter) for how many days?  Ohhhhh....you will still drink wine and coffee.  Okay. I think I can still live with you."

Frienemy foods...

Our bodies need food but I think we will all agree that some foods are not nutritional and some are pretty awesome for us fueling our bodies.  These non-nutritive foods; fluffy, sweet, crunchy, salty are my frienemy foods.  Specifically, ruffles (with french onion dip), cookies (home made), salt and vinegar potato chips, and bread.  What bread?  ALL bread.  They are my frienemy foods because I love them but they do not have my best interest at heart.  I eat them and am still hungry and I want MORE.  Plus....I feel horrible.  Like Adam Levine sang about the girl that he couldn't get enough of and then he felt awful about (mmmmhmmmm) the next morning but ... I really did feel awful.  Self loathing mixed with feeling sick and sluggish. 

With one completed Whole30 (no grains, sugars, soy etc etc) under my belt...I heard one of the coaches saying that 30 days *sometimes* isn't enough.  That 60 days would be better as our bodies become more adapted to a clean way of eating.  Therefore, making healthy choices becomes more systematic as we are "reprogrammed".  This made sense to me as after my Whole30 I was able to slip quickly back in to eating the frienemy foods that don't fill me but were habitual; bread, cheese (I am lacto intolerant), and processed foods. 

I decided to do a Whole60.  At the end of the first Whole60, while eating a meal, I was able to feel that it was time to stop eating <feeling full sensation>.  Wow...that was completely new.  I was certain that years of overeating had eliminated that instinct from my repertoire of instincts.  I just pushed the plate back.  At the end of the first Whole60 it was my 40th birthday.  I imagined what I would want to have.  I made a list that was long and included a dunkin donuts trip.  Then it hit me...I didn't really want those foods...I just missed those foods.  My frienemy foods.  The ones that didn't have my best interest at heart.  No matter how I justified it...a donut is always going to stick to my thighs and do nothing for me nutritionally.  I used to enjoy those foods and they were a very small part of my life.  However, the roller coaster that it put my body through undermined my ability to make good choices for the rest of the day.  But I missed them.  So, as I considered my list I realized that I already knew the outcome.  I have to change to change myself.  So...I went back on Whole60 again.  Now at the end of my 2nd Whole60 I made a list of what I wanted to have as a treat but after thinking about what I miss and what I want the answer is the same I would rather have a steak and sweet potato.  Maybe some corn on the cob.  I no longer want my frienemy foods.  I see them for what they are.

So to my frienemy foods I bid you farewell.  I am better off without you.  Don't let the door hit you on the way out.  

what I think about CrossFit coaches...

Lets get straight to it.  They are mean (I see the 100 burpees coming) SO mean.  In the beginning...I wanted a note allowing me to quit.  I wanted the coaches to tell me...it is okay.  Give up.  You have worked hard enough...go on ahead and quit.  I will let you. I won't make you feel bad for being unfit.  I won't give you a hard time for quitting.  I will hold your hand while you surrender to your self pity.  I was looking for permission to quit on myself.  Yeah...that is not what they gave me.  Instead I was called out on my excuses (not enough time; kids, work, life, house etc etc.  We all have them) and they said things like, "pick up the bar, Michelle" "add more weight, Michelle" "you can do this, Michelle" "Go faster, Michelle" and my favorite, "you can always do one more Burpee <gag>, Michelle".  Now while the coaches were saying these things the dialogue in my head was "what have I gotten myself in to", "this is stupid", "this is TOO hard" and the horrible "I want to quit".  Never have I quit a WOD and I didn't really want to but I fought the words in my head and was confused by the difference between those words and the words of my coaches.  Then, with the CrossFit open 14.5 a light bulb went off.  As I was dragging through it the coach was talking me through the math of my rounds (math is hard while deprived of oxygen...truth) and he said something like "those thrusters look easy for you, next round do them unbroken" after having completed a mazillion of them already.  At first I thought I was going to say something VERY VERY VERY unkind to this very nice man...easy???  What the hell???  Then...I realized <lightbulb> that he saw something that I didn't.  His opinion was based upon performance where my opinion was based upon years of emotion and self doubt.  <listen to your coaches>  That is when I began to realize I can do this and all the negative self talk ceased and was replaced with things like, "take 3 breaths and move", " you got this...pick up the freakin' bar, Michelle" It takes a lot of effort to replace the negative self talk with words of encouragement.  Sometimes those words are "this is awful...but it will make me stronger...keep moving" and also "this is amazing I never could have done this 6 months ago".

Mean?  Okay, maybe not.  Pushy...perhaps.  Seeing ability and not accepting any less?  Absolutely.  Is it easy?  No.  Does it require permanent, real and realistic change?  Yes, yes and yes.  Can I do it?  Yes, yes I can and I am.  So for those who criticize CrossFit...in that pool of sweat I found myself.  I realized the person I am.  I got a glimpse into how strong I am both inside and outside.  Why?  Because I made the choice to trust the perspective of someone else who had judged me based upon my actions not on my opinions based upon self doubt.  Get some.