how to quiet a rooster...or not

As most of you know I have chickens.  At present...a few too many.  If you have objections to eating or processing humanely pastured raised birds, please move on.

In May, my girls, convinced me to get some fertilized eggs for our broody hen (a hen who wants to sit on eggs and have babies...if only she knew) to hatch out.  Those hatched out early summer.  We also purchased more birds to raise for meat later that month.  Then, we ordered more egg laying babies (all hens) to replace some of our more obnoxious hens from our egg laying flock later.  I have.too.many.chickens.

The meat chickens were purchased straight run. Which means, they send you chicks as they are laid without sexing as they are laid.  Yes...there are people who work for hatcheries called sexers.  I would like that name tag.  [My NAME] SEXER.  That is awesome.  So, straight run means bottom line, they will be less than 1/2 roosters.  At first, we looked at it and saw that was cheaper then all female or all male and since we plan to eat them...what do we care?  Oh... WAIT.  We care cause roosters are loud and obnoxious.  Like a two year old who has learned to whistle and will not stop doing it horribly. If you have to process them too early then you end up with a smaller bird (still sizeable) and less meat then you could get with a fully mature bird.  Mental note for next time....all hens.

So fast forward to yesterday. We returned from a weekend away to find out that we had a crowing rooster.  We live in a subdivision with largish yards without a chicken ordinance and we have neighbors with chickens (a few with roosters) but I don't want to be the one that causes a problem because I do have too many chickens.  So...cockadoodle doo....over and over.  We packed the boys all up to take them to the Amish man for processing only to find out that he can't handle them for several days so we decide to handle Mr. Crows A'lot.  Details spared...he was handled and he went in the refrigerator.  Then...this morning... I walk out to this:

Three roosters crowing...some of them from the hatched chick cage.  How do I keep them quiet enough for them to reach full size?  I don't want to take time from my work day to "handle" more...the Amish man isn't available until the end of the week... so...what's a girl to do. 

I spent about 10 minutes playing various videos from YouTube with crowing roosters trying to get the crower to identify himself so I could 'handle' him.  To no avail.  Once I walked out there with the tags to mark the crowers...they stopped.  I think they were on to me since one disappeared yesterday.  

So, I opted to separate them in a more excluded part of the yard so they wouldn't disturb the neighbors or be otherwise stimulated by the hens and then prompted to crow and demonstrate their manliness.  Once I separated them I put a tarp over their enclosure so they couldn't see what was going on with the girls.   If it gets hot...I can put a box fan at the opening.  This seemed to help ... A LOT.  No more mid day crowing.  I moved them to a part of the yard that was far from the ladies so they didn't hear the chattering and such from them.  Then my neighbor said that she heard an old wives tale that if you put a laundry basket over them...they can't stand up to crow.  Light BULB!!  So, I put a layer of poultry netting in their enclosure to keep them from being able to stand up tall.  It is kind of high...but I don't want to restrict them TOO much and I can always lower it.

My goal is to let them hang out for another few weeks so we get a maximum return on our investment while they live humanely.  Everyone is invited to my backyard tomorrow at 6am to see if it works!

The "High Five" in crossfit...

Before joining CrossFit...I hadn't participated in a high five since I was wearing multi-color tube socks in middle school.  Or perhaps when my older brother tortured me with the "Up High"..."Down LOW" OOOooops...TOO SLOW.  The others (tube sock ones) were probably related to doing something really silly and the high five was an acknowledgement of our awkwardness and acceptance or a distraction from the awkwardness.  Now, all things have changed.

CrossFit takes the High-Five to a whole new plane.

The flat on your back High Five:  My first CrossFit WOD I remember laying on my back with my eyes closed gasping for breath and mentally reconfiguring my schedule for the week to get in as many WODs as possible (first signs of addiction folks) and thinking how awesome I felt when I "heard" the coach looming over my head.  I opened my eyes to see tinges of concern on his face as he held his hand up over my head (for a high five) and asked me what I thought of my first WOD.  I muttered something profane and smacked his hand.  He had a huge grin as he stalked off knowing he had just converted another treadmill/ellipticalizer to CrossFit. 

The I love you and you are amazing but I can't talk High Five: while crossing friends (who are ahead of me on a run...which is everyone) we all high five each other as we cross.  This is to say, I love you, you are awesome, great job but I can't waste oxygen right now to say those words.

The holy crap...I can't believe you just did that High Five: When your WOD mate does something awesome that they have been working on forever and you can't yet muster the words...this high five is appropriate while you come up with something amazing to say.

The "You Know it High Five":  This is a very special High Five.  It is the recipient mode of the High Five above.  Possibly the best of all.  This is when YOU do something that is awesome and have worked hard for.  Something you have accomplished and are returning the High Five of the person who is saying "holy crap...I can't believe you just did that".  This is the true meaning of community...in CrossFit we push and fight for each other and when our friends meet their goals we are in awe FOR and OF them.  Regardless of the accomplishment. 

Finally (not necessarily CrossFit related), for us Moms of boys, The "I really want to hug you right now but don't want to embarrass you in front of your friends so I will do this" High Five:  When your son does something amazing, and his friends are around, this High Five is an acceptable way of communicating your respect and awe of his accomplishment without the "mom...no hugs in public" dreaded convo.  I usually ignore this and go for the hug anyway but recognize this will soon be my fate.

In conclusion...remember...we can all be sharpened by our experiences with one another.  Don't hold back.  Encourage.  Support. Cheer on.  We are directed to do so.

Proverbs 27:17  
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

the life of a family dog...

As I have been looking through photos and trying to avoid jumping in to a container of animal crackers and simultaneously grateful that I don't have animal crackers in the house I decided to put together a few photos that made me smile....to honor Chance.  In hopes it will remind us how wonderful her life was and how she enriched ours.  I noticed that my photos are sparse during Andrew and Katherine's early years...I imagine that this is a product of having two children 13 months apart while moving overseas and then that there was a surge of photos with the creation of the iPhone.  It was nice to review the pictures and these are some of the highlights that I want to remember over the past 14 years.

So...here we go.

Fourteen years ago Glenn and I finished college and were embarking on a new adventure.  He had just started flight school and I was pregnant with our first child.  As a graduation gift, my father bought a dog for us.  She went everywhere with us that her couch potato self would allow.

Here's to Chance..

She warmly and with love welcome three children, 5 cats and another dog into this house.

While we lived in California...she became a California dog.  She would go outside and lay on her back in the grass for so long I thought I should put sunscreen on her tummy.  This is how I will always remember her.

She tolerated bath time and would pout but the second it was over she would be the happiest dog ever.  

Chance would chase cats outdoors but her indoor cat pals were for snuggling.  Somehow they had it all worked out and we never had to get involved.

She would cry and wag her tail when Glenn would come home from cruise.  It was like her tail was going to wag right off of her body...he was her favorite person.  I can't blame her...he is an amazing man.

Even blind...she had the "can I have some of your popcorn face" nailed...Jax on the left isn't so bad either.  He was looking at the popcorn...she was looking at the eyes.  In.to.your.soul.  Try to say no.

She never left our side while we worked (me from home) or relaxed....

She made one little girl a very happy little girl...

She moved 11 times, 2 drives cross country, 1 drive north to south of the West coast and 2 cross Pacific flights to include being in a kennel for 6 weeks in Japan.  Always with a smile and wagging tail....she was happy to be with her people and we were happy to be with her.

Good bye sweet girl...we will miss you so much.  May the squirrels be plentiful, the food bowl always full and a warm sunny patch of grass to roll in.

stuff my (not-yet-CrossFitting) husband says to me....about CrossFit.

My husband does Tae Kwon Do and I do CrossFit.  Our kids do CrossFit with me and Tae Kwon Do with him.  This works for us and we support each others endeavors.  Since we met back in high school we agreed that supporting each other is not defined by doing every.single.thing.together yet cheering each other on as we pursue our individual quests.

So, my point.  My wonderful husband doesn't CrossFit (CrossFit can be used as verb, noun and proper noun...how is THAT for functional?) but he has some funny perspectives.

Here a few of the latest...

1.  Are those whip marks on your legs?  What the heck were you doing?

2.  Bruises on your thighs and shoulders...Cleans today?

3.  When I talk about snatching he ALWAYS has a inappropriate comment.

4.  After a long burpee workout in shorts I *always* get road rash on my knees.  This doesn't receive a comment but merely an eyebrow raise.  Only one eyebrow.  Maybe a snigger.

5.  Each evening I begin the obsessive compulsive check on the Bunker's Facebook page to see what tomorrow's WOD will be.  On those evenings when it is a super cool WOD (like squat cleans) I react like this:

This gets a similar reaction to the road rash on my knees.  
6.  He helped me acquire the necessary equipment for and clear the space for a backyard lifting area and without fail when I suggest that I need a rack (and a pullup bar too while I am asking) he will make some sort of comment about MY rack and how I don't need another one.  :::sigh::: boys.

7.  While I was doing the open he cared for and *even* fed the kids while I was gone each Saturday morning and then saved me some bacon for when I returned.  This has nothing to do with stuff he says....but no CrossFit post would be complete without mention of bacon.

8.  When I talk about jerking...well...he has an inappropriate and entertaining comment.  As an aside...I am greatly entertained by euphemisms for human behavior.

9.  When I showed him the picture below and showed him the points of performance I have improved on in the past few months he exclaimed, "OH MY GOSH!!!!  YOU HAVE HAD THE SAME SHOES FOR 3 MONTHS!!!!"

Well.  I will have to do something about that.

10.  Even though I can easily heft the 50# bags of chicken feed, the 40# bags of soil/mulch....he always offers to do it for me.  Chivalry...it isn't dead.

bonus...

As I have been doing a pretty strict Paleo diet this is his take on it: "You aren't going to eat; cheese, grain, sugar (and all artificial sweeteners)  and legumes (hear me...peanut butter) for how many days?  Ohhhhh....you will still drink wine and coffee.  Okay. I think I can still live with you."

Frienemy foods...

Our bodies need food but I think we will all agree that some foods are not nutritional and some are pretty awesome for us fueling our bodies.  These non-nutritive foods; fluffy, sweet, crunchy, salty are my frienemy foods.  Specifically, ruffles (with french onion dip), cookies (home made), salt and vinegar potato chips, and bread.  What bread?  ALL bread.  They are my frienemy foods because I love them but they do not have my best interest at heart.  I eat them and am still hungry and I want MORE.  Plus....I feel horrible.  Like Adam Levine sang about the girl that he couldn't get enough of and then he felt awful about (mmmmhmmmm) the next morning but ... I really did feel awful.  Self loathing mixed with feeling sick and sluggish. 

With one completed Whole30 (no grains, sugars, soy etc etc) under my belt...I heard one of the coaches saying that 30 days *sometimes* isn't enough.  That 60 days would be better as our bodies become more adapted to a clean way of eating.  Therefore, making healthy choices becomes more systematic as we are "reprogrammed".  This made sense to me as after my Whole30 I was able to slip quickly back in to eating the frienemy foods that don't fill me but were habitual; bread, cheese (I am lacto intolerant), and processed foods. 

I decided to do a Whole60.  At the end of the first Whole60, while eating a meal, I was able to feel that it was time to stop eating <feeling full sensation>.  Wow...that was completely new.  I was certain that years of overeating had eliminated that instinct from my repertoire of instincts.  I just pushed the plate back.  At the end of the first Whole60 it was my 40th birthday.  I imagined what I would want to have.  I made a list that was long and included a dunkin donuts trip.  Then it hit me...I didn't really want those foods...I just missed those foods.  My frienemy foods.  The ones that didn't have my best interest at heart.  No matter how I justified it...a donut is always going to stick to my thighs and do nothing for me nutritionally.  I used to enjoy those foods and they were a very small part of my life.  However, the roller coaster that it put my body through undermined my ability to make good choices for the rest of the day.  But I missed them.  So, as I considered my list I realized that I already knew the outcome.  I have to change to change myself.  So...I went back on Whole60 again.  Now at the end of my 2nd Whole60 I made a list of what I wanted to have as a treat but after thinking about what I miss and what I want the answer is the same I would rather have a steak and sweet potato.  Maybe some corn on the cob.  I no longer want my frienemy foods.  I see them for what they are.

So to my frienemy foods I bid you farewell.  I am better off without you.  Don't let the door hit you on the way out.  

what I think about CrossFit coaches...

Lets get straight to it.  They are mean (I see the 100 burpees coming) SO mean.  In the beginning...I wanted a note allowing me to quit.  I wanted the coaches to tell me...it is okay.  Give up.  You have worked hard enough...go on ahead and quit.  I will let you. I won't make you feel bad for being unfit.  I won't give you a hard time for quitting.  I will hold your hand while you surrender to your self pity.  I was looking for permission to quit on myself.  Yeah...that is not what they gave me.  Instead I was called out on my excuses (not enough time; kids, work, life, house etc etc.  We all have them) and they said things like, "pick up the bar, Michelle" "add more weight, Michelle" "you can do this, Michelle" "Go faster, Michelle" and my favorite, "you can always do one more Burpee <gag>, Michelle".  Now while the coaches were saying these things the dialogue in my head was "what have I gotten myself in to", "this is stupid", "this is TOO hard" and the horrible "I want to quit".  Never have I quit a WOD and I didn't really want to but I fought the words in my head and was confused by the difference between those words and the words of my coaches.  Then, with the CrossFit open 14.5 a light bulb went off.  As I was dragging through it the coach was talking me through the math of my rounds (math is hard while deprived of oxygen...truth) and he said something like "those thrusters look easy for you, next round do them unbroken" after having completed a mazillion of them already.  At first I thought I was going to say something VERY VERY VERY unkind to this very nice man...easy???  What the hell???  Then...I realized <lightbulb> that he saw something that I didn't.  His opinion was based upon performance where my opinion was based upon years of emotion and self doubt.  <listen to your coaches>  That is when I began to realize I can do this and all the negative self talk ceased and was replaced with things like, "take 3 breaths and move", " you got this...pick up the freakin' bar, Michelle" It takes a lot of effort to replace the negative self talk with words of encouragement.  Sometimes those words are "this is awful...but it will make me stronger...keep moving" and also "this is amazing I never could have done this 6 months ago".

Mean?  Okay, maybe not.  Pushy...perhaps.  Seeing ability and not accepting any less?  Absolutely.  Is it easy?  No.  Does it require permanent, real and realistic change?  Yes, yes and yes.  Can I do it?  Yes, yes I can and I am.  So for those who criticize CrossFit...in that pool of sweat I found myself.  I realized the person I am.  I got a glimpse into how strong I am both inside and outside.  Why?  Because I made the choice to trust the perspective of someone else who had judged me based upon my actions not on my opinions based upon self doubt.  Get some.

My "boring" military husband

There have been many posts as of late about the 'Boring Husband'.  I both love and loathe these posts.  My husband is all of these things but is anything but boring.  I do not like the idea of classifying what he does and characterizing it...but it comes down to the fact that love is shown in the ordinary not the extraordinary.

As a military family these expressions become more complicated by distance and time away.  Frequent moves, uncertainty for location, separations from family (brothers, sisters, cousins, moms and dads), deployments and a crazy fun lifestyle.

NOTE: I am not one to complain about our lifestyle.  Yes, it is challenging and not for everyone but it is awesome and fun so we continue.  I wouldn't choose any other way to live...but I wouldn't do it for just anyone. I love this man...so it is a worthy endeavor.

What is boring about my Military husband?

1.  He calls me when he can and emails when he cant.  He asks about the kids and does everything he can to be engaged and involved despite being on a boat or 6 or more time zones away.  He chats with the girls about drawings of '????' and fakes it until he can ask me what they are talking about.  He loves his children how he can when he can.

2.  He values what is important to me even if he isn't here to enjoy those things with me. 

3.  He supports my endeavors regardless of their level of insanity.

4.  Most importantly, he realizes that the decisions that are made while he is unavailable and deployed are my decisions that I make considering his desires and sometimes they are off the mark but he supports and backs them up.  100% of the time.

5.  While gone for deployment...he taught our son to make coffee (Keurig people...nothing extraordinary there) so I would still have the luxury of having my coffee brought to me.  I am a much nicer person after a cup...so it is also protective of our kiddos.  :-)

Most importantly, and the impetus for this post, he kept my plant alive.  As I said before...we move...often and I love houseplants.  But, I never buy them as then it tempts fate that we will move overseas (again) and I will have to give it away or the plant will die.  So, 10 months ago I bought (1) houseplant.  I even bought a very pretty container for it.  Then we found out that we were moving cross country and decided to move into our RV (with our 3 children, 2 dogs while I work full time and home school) for several months.  The houseplant came with into the RV.  To Disney, to the Desert, to Lassen NP, to the Beach.  It was my mascot and symbol of resiliency.  Then...I left him in California and moved here to Maryland...and I forgot the plant.  During this time, he lived in our RV then with our friends and on then on the USS Ronald Reagan.  I expected it to die...undernourished and forgotten.  Today he arrived in Maryland after driving across country and what did he have with him?  Oh, my bike, my collection of Riedel glasses, several bottles of swanky aged balsamic vinegar that he saved and....my plant.  The PLANT.  He kept it alive and arranged for its care.  I realize..it is just a plant.  A boring plant.  But, true love lives in the boring details.  True love and devotion comes from the months apart, the hours on the phone, the willingness to help, the tolerance as your mate expresses their interests (note...adopting a 'few' animals)
and...the plant.  The plant that is still alive.  I am easily amused but this plant looks awesome...don't you think??