stuff my (not-yet-CrossFitting) husband says to me....about CrossFit.

My husband does Tae Kwon Do and I do CrossFit.  Our kids do CrossFit with me and Tae Kwon Do with him.  This works for us and we support each others endeavors.  Since we met back in high school we agreed that supporting each other is not defined by doing every.single.thing.together yet cheering each other on as we pursue our individual quests.

So, my point.  My wonderful husband doesn't CrossFit (CrossFit can be used as verb, noun and proper noun...how is THAT for functional?) but he has some funny perspectives.

Here a few of the latest...

1.  Are those whip marks on your legs?  What the heck were you doing?

2.  Bruises on your thighs and shoulders...Cleans today?

3.  When I talk about snatching he ALWAYS has a inappropriate comment.

4.  After a long burpee workout in shorts I *always* get road rash on my knees.  This doesn't receive a comment but merely an eyebrow raise.  Only one eyebrow.  Maybe a snigger.

5.  Each evening I begin the obsessive compulsive check on the Bunker's Facebook page to see what tomorrow's WOD will be.  On those evenings when it is a super cool WOD (like squat cleans) I react like this:

This gets a similar reaction to the road rash on my knees.  
6.  He helped me acquire the necessary equipment for and clear the space for a backyard lifting area and without fail when I suggest that I need a rack (and a pullup bar too while I am asking) he will make some sort of comment about MY rack and how I don't need another one.  :::sigh::: boys.

7.  While I was doing the open he cared for and *even* fed the kids while I was gone each Saturday morning and then saved me some bacon for when I returned.  This has nothing to do with stuff he says....but no CrossFit post would be complete without mention of bacon.

8.  When I talk about jerking...well...he has an inappropriate and entertaining comment.  As an aside...I am greatly entertained by euphemisms for human behavior.

9.  When I showed him the picture below and showed him the points of performance I have improved on in the past few months he exclaimed, "OH MY GOSH!!!!  YOU HAVE HAD THE SAME SHOES FOR 3 MONTHS!!!!"

Well.  I will have to do something about that.

10.  Even though I can easily heft the 50# bags of chicken feed, the 40# bags of soil/mulch....he always offers to do it for me.  Chivalry...it isn't dead.

bonus...

As I have been doing a pretty strict Paleo diet this is his take on it: "You aren't going to eat; cheese, grain, sugar (and all artificial sweeteners)  and legumes (hear me...peanut butter) for how many days?  Ohhhhh....you will still drink wine and coffee.  Okay. I think I can still live with you."

Frienemy foods...

Our bodies need food but I think we will all agree that some foods are not nutritional and some are pretty awesome for us fueling our bodies.  These non-nutritive foods; fluffy, sweet, crunchy, salty are my frienemy foods.  Specifically, ruffles (with french onion dip), cookies (home made), salt and vinegar potato chips, and bread.  What bread?  ALL bread.  They are my frienemy foods because I love them but they do not have my best interest at heart.  I eat them and am still hungry and I want MORE.  Plus....I feel horrible.  Like Adam Levine sang about the girl that he couldn't get enough of and then he felt awful about (mmmmhmmmm) the next morning but ... I really did feel awful.  Self loathing mixed with feeling sick and sluggish. 

With one completed Whole30 (no grains, sugars, soy etc etc) under my belt...I heard one of the coaches saying that 30 days *sometimes* isn't enough.  That 60 days would be better as our bodies become more adapted to a clean way of eating.  Therefore, making healthy choices becomes more systematic as we are "reprogrammed".  This made sense to me as after my Whole30 I was able to slip quickly back in to eating the frienemy foods that don't fill me but were habitual; bread, cheese (I am lacto intolerant), and processed foods. 

I decided to do a Whole60.  At the end of the first Whole60, while eating a meal, I was able to feel that it was time to stop eating <feeling full sensation>.  Wow...that was completely new.  I was certain that years of overeating had eliminated that instinct from my repertoire of instincts.  I just pushed the plate back.  At the end of the first Whole60 it was my 40th birthday.  I imagined what I would want to have.  I made a list that was long and included a dunkin donuts trip.  Then it hit me...I didn't really want those foods...I just missed those foods.  My frienemy foods.  The ones that didn't have my best interest at heart.  No matter how I justified it...a donut is always going to stick to my thighs and do nothing for me nutritionally.  I used to enjoy those foods and they were a very small part of my life.  However, the roller coaster that it put my body through undermined my ability to make good choices for the rest of the day.  But I missed them.  So, as I considered my list I realized that I already knew the outcome.  I have to change to change myself.  So...I went back on Whole60 again.  Now at the end of my 2nd Whole60 I made a list of what I wanted to have as a treat but after thinking about what I miss and what I want the answer is the same I would rather have a steak and sweet potato.  Maybe some corn on the cob.  I no longer want my frienemy foods.  I see them for what they are.

So to my frienemy foods I bid you farewell.  I am better off without you.  Don't let the door hit you on the way out.  

what I think about CrossFit coaches...

Lets get straight to it.  They are mean (I see the 100 burpees coming) SO mean.  In the beginning...I wanted a note allowing me to quit.  I wanted the coaches to tell me...it is okay.  Give up.  You have worked hard enough...go on ahead and quit.  I will let you. I won't make you feel bad for being unfit.  I won't give you a hard time for quitting.  I will hold your hand while you surrender to your self pity.  I was looking for permission to quit on myself.  Yeah...that is not what they gave me.  Instead I was called out on my excuses (not enough time; kids, work, life, house etc etc.  We all have them) and they said things like, "pick up the bar, Michelle" "add more weight, Michelle" "you can do this, Michelle" "Go faster, Michelle" and my favorite, "you can always do one more Burpee <gag>, Michelle".  Now while the coaches were saying these things the dialogue in my head was "what have I gotten myself in to", "this is stupid", "this is TOO hard" and the horrible "I want to quit".  Never have I quit a WOD and I didn't really want to but I fought the words in my head and was confused by the difference between those words and the words of my coaches.  Then, with the CrossFit open 14.5 a light bulb went off.  As I was dragging through it the coach was talking me through the math of my rounds (math is hard while deprived of oxygen...truth) and he said something like "those thrusters look easy for you, next round do them unbroken" after having completed a mazillion of them already.  At first I thought I was going to say something VERY VERY VERY unkind to this very nice man...easy???  What the hell???  Then...I realized <lightbulb> that he saw something that I didn't.  His opinion was based upon performance where my opinion was based upon years of emotion and self doubt.  <listen to your coaches>  That is when I began to realize I can do this and all the negative self talk ceased and was replaced with things like, "take 3 breaths and move", " you got this...pick up the freakin' bar, Michelle" It takes a lot of effort to replace the negative self talk with words of encouragement.  Sometimes those words are "this is awful...but it will make me stronger...keep moving" and also "this is amazing I never could have done this 6 months ago".

Mean?  Okay, maybe not.  Pushy...perhaps.  Seeing ability and not accepting any less?  Absolutely.  Is it easy?  No.  Does it require permanent, real and realistic change?  Yes, yes and yes.  Can I do it?  Yes, yes I can and I am.  So for those who criticize CrossFit...in that pool of sweat I found myself.  I realized the person I am.  I got a glimpse into how strong I am both inside and outside.  Why?  Because I made the choice to trust the perspective of someone else who had judged me based upon my actions not on my opinions based upon self doubt.  Get some.

My "boring" military husband

There have been many posts as of late about the 'Boring Husband'.  I both love and loathe these posts.  My husband is all of these things but is anything but boring.  I do not like the idea of classifying what he does and characterizing it...but it comes down to the fact that love is shown in the ordinary not the extraordinary.

As a military family these expressions become more complicated by distance and time away.  Frequent moves, uncertainty for location, separations from family (brothers, sisters, cousins, moms and dads), deployments and a crazy fun lifestyle.

NOTE: I am not one to complain about our lifestyle.  Yes, it is challenging and not for everyone but it is awesome and fun so we continue.  I wouldn't choose any other way to live...but I wouldn't do it for just anyone. I love this man...so it is a worthy endeavor.

What is boring about my Military husband?

1.  He calls me when he can and emails when he cant.  He asks about the kids and does everything he can to be engaged and involved despite being on a boat or 6 or more time zones away.  He chats with the girls about drawings of '????' and fakes it until he can ask me what they are talking about.  He loves his children how he can when he can.

2.  He values what is important to me even if he isn't here to enjoy those things with me. 

3.  He supports my endeavors regardless of their level of insanity.

4.  Most importantly, he realizes that the decisions that are made while he is unavailable and deployed are my decisions that I make considering his desires and sometimes they are off the mark but he supports and backs them up.  100% of the time.

5.  While gone for deployment...he taught our son to make coffee (Keurig people...nothing extraordinary there) so I would still have the luxury of having my coffee brought to me.  I am a much nicer person after a cup...so it is also protective of our kiddos.  :-)

Most importantly, and the impetus for this post, he kept my plant alive.  As I said before...we move...often and I love houseplants.  But, I never buy them as then it tempts fate that we will move overseas (again) and I will have to give it away or the plant will die.  So, 10 months ago I bought (1) houseplant.  I even bought a very pretty container for it.  Then we found out that we were moving cross country and decided to move into our RV (with our 3 children, 2 dogs while I work full time and home school) for several months.  The houseplant came with into the RV.  To Disney, to the Desert, to Lassen NP, to the Beach.  It was my mascot and symbol of resiliency.  Then...I left him in California and moved here to Maryland...and I forgot the plant.  During this time, he lived in our RV then with our friends and on then on the USS Ronald Reagan.  I expected it to die...undernourished and forgotten.  Today he arrived in Maryland after driving across country and what did he have with him?  Oh, my bike, my collection of Riedel glasses, several bottles of swanky aged balsamic vinegar that he saved and....my plant.  The PLANT.  He kept it alive and arranged for its care.  I realize..it is just a plant.  A boring plant.  But, true love lives in the boring details.  True love and devotion comes from the months apart, the hours on the phone, the willingness to help, the tolerance as your mate expresses their interests (note...adopting a 'few' animals)
and...the plant.  The plant that is still alive.  I am easily amused but this plant looks awesome...don't you think??

Why do we home school?

Lately, I have had many inquiries as to why we home school.  I am not saying that *everyone* should home school.  I am just saying that with our particular set of circumstances and abilities it has worked out to be a blessing.  This post is a definition of our choices and not for the purpose of sparring other parent's choices.  So, if you are offended I apologize it isn't meant to be that way.

1.  Socialization.  I will start off by saying the biggest concern that we had starting to home school was social interaction for our children.  Now, that is one of our top three reasons for continuing to home school.  Social Interaction in school is more like forced association and although that is a good lesson to learn I would rather my children learn Latin, C++ and Classical Studies.

2.  Wholesome Living.  This kind of goes back to #1...I wanted their lives to be more wholesome.  Focused on the things that are important to us as a family.  I didn't want my girls worried about jean brands and who was wearing a bra in the 4th grade.

3.  Gifted and Talented.  We felt that we could do a better job providing a gifted and talented program than what is provided by the schools.  With so many children struggling and lacking language skills I knew that my children would do better with me.  Yes, yes, yes.  I could have supplemented their education at home and I did that for 2 years but with activities (boy scouts, Tae Kwon Do, playing w/friends and family time) there are only so many hours in the day!

4.  ?.  Adolescence sucks and sharing it with your peers sucks even more.  WORD.

5.  Modeling.  If the goal is to raise responsible adults...we felt that they would be better off with those who can model (most of the time) those behaviors.

Fellow home school moms...what are your top three?  You can post in Facebook if that is easier.  :-)

On acting like a kitten....

We have amazingly cute kittens.  They are about six months old and our days are filled with their zest for...well...being kittens.  I think there are lessons to be learned from how they view life.  The pic below is the best I could get of them wrestling.  They are just.that.fast.

The kittens spend all day playing...jumping, tumbling and being outright crazy.  As they jump from the ledge to the top of the bookcase kittens don't stop to think; hey, that is WAY too high.  No way I can get my fuzzy rear up there.  They just jump and give it their all on the first jump.  Rarely do they miss...sadly I am too busy laughing to cat-olog (see how I did that?) the misses with a camera.

On relationships; the kittens continue to try and get the older (6 year female) cat to play with them.  They will smack at her from hidden corners or jump out as she saunters down the hall.  99.999999% of the time she pops them in the face and they run off.  Yet they come back...trying to draw in a new friend for play.  This is what she wants to do does all day.

On trying new things: have you ever seen a kitten examining a gap between the couch/bookshelf/bed/etc for fit check?  NOPE.  They run at it like their butts are on fire and make themselves as flat as they can and slip under or inside.  They seem to defy the laws of quantum mechanics as their bodies occupy the same space as solid pieces of furniture.

Never once do they doubt that they can do what they set out to do.  Why?  Is it because they are stupid?  Because they are learning (or not) their limits?  Or is it because that they are so full of vigor and vitality that they do not pause to consider that they have have limits?

I think it is a bit of all of those.  When considering my goals...I am going to think about my crazy felines who are incredibly successful at being crazy felines.  They NEVER consider something based upon a preconceived notion that they can't do it.  They just give it their all and go.

Otherwise...how would they go from this:

To this:

 

And then finally, this:

So, my goal is to charge at a WOD the way my kittens would.  To not look at the end and think how I am I ever going to do 100 double unders after all that other stuff.  I can because I don't think I can't.  Simple.

To WOD or not to WOD...that was the question.

*****Warning*****  This post talks about being a girl...if you can't handle it...don't read this one.  Plus, you might get offended by my man flu reference.  :-)

This morning when I woke up, it was like back in High School.  I felt horrible...in that every 28 days sort of horrible.  Back in High School I would have gotten in my mom's bed and the conversation would have gone like this:

OhhhhhhnnnUrghhhhh....mooooooom.  I don't want to go to school today...I feel girl horrible (way worse than man flu btw) and I have PE today.  My loving wonderful mom would say something like, 'stop whining go to school'.   OOooooohhhhhhhhrrrrgggggg....but mooooooomm.  Then I would hug her and she would: :::sigh::: I will write you a gym pass.  Sweet.  Out of bed and on to school I went donning sweats and my bottle of Motrin praying for time to pass.

Fast forward a *few* many years and that was me this morning.  Minus my mom (deployed husband in parenthesis as he is here in spirit but spirit meant jack this morning) and adding 3 children, 2 dogs, 3 cats, 7 chickens and a job that needed me to get moving.  OHhhhhhhhurgghhhhhhh....and it was cold in my room.  So, I thought, I can do this but I don't think I can do Crossfit.  No way.  No how.  I am almost 40...I am writing my own frickin gym pass.  So, I plowed through my morning responsibilities.  Which, this particular morning, amounted to me commanding my children to do everything.  Then I looked on Facebook and saw this posted as the WOD (Work Out of the Day)



OH MY STARS. <grabs sports bra>  I thought...WOW.  <puts on appropriate socks>  That looks like a lot of fun.  <puts on comfy every 28 days gym pants>  For realz...I WANT to get my butt going and do that <yells at kiddo to get ready>.  The music will be awesome, cause our coach is a banging DJ too.  Plus, this WOD has things I am strong at and I know I can rock it and feel good.  <puts on shoes>  (For the record...I didn't see the burpee pull ups until I was actually there <gag>)  Just like that...I was out the door. 

I was right, it was fun.  I had a PR in the HBBS and got the 'next time use a bigger weight' encouragement from the Coach with the sled pull (90#) and KB swings (35#).  I walked away not thinking about how bad I felt (even though I still did) but how strong I felt.  Endorphins are great.  So are sled pulls by the way. 

Now, if only we had been doing CrossFit in High School PE.  Then I could have had tons of fun, enjoyed exercise and occasionally experienced performance anxiety (yes, girls have it too) while waiting in line for the rope in High School.  But, that is a blog post for another day.  That infernal rope mocks me from the corner and shall.be.mine.  One day beotch.  One day.